Monday, February 20, 2012

The Book of Benedict, Chapter 2


Wherein the good work of Benedict falls on stony ground

1 Benedict being a wise pastor of his sheep saw that the ways of worship had gone awry and that the People of God needed to be brought back to the way their fathers had prayed.

2 And the Lord was with him and he wrote a letter to all the tabernacles and the High Priests of the People of God saying that they should be free to worship as their fathers had prayed

3 And many were greatly pleased by this as they had hidden away and the priests had been afraid to pray as their fathers had prayed before them even though this was wholesome in the sight of the Lord

4 (Though some who were the Hipp-ies who were arrayed in polyester or even only in the Magic Stole who favoured the cymbals and the tambourines and the dancing of the daughters of Eve ground their teeth at this)

5 And the writers of the Scroll of the Tablet that is the Pillule raged like a lion against Benedict

6 And the letter went to the Dear Green Place which is called Glas-gow or Gles-ca in the tongue of that place

7 And the High Priest there was called Marius and he read not the scroll of Benedict

8 And the People of God said to him "Wilt thou allow us to pray as our fathers have prayed, as Benedict has promised us?

9 And Marius said "If I find 10 righteous men who ask this in each House of God, I will not allow it"

9 The People said, “Now that we have been so bold as to speak to the Lord Bishop, what if only twenty can be found there?”

10 He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not allow it.”

11 So they said "What if there are forty?"

12 Marius said "Naw, yer no gettin' it"

13 Again they said "We know we are bold who are not trained liturgists, but what if there are fifty who ask for it?

14 And Marius said "For the sake of the fifty, there will be no Form that is Extraordinary."

15 "May Your Grace not be angry" they said "but what is there are seventy five who ask?"

14 And Marius said "For the sake of the seventy five I still will not grant it"

15 "We are getting a bit desperate here, Your Grace, but what if there are a hundred?"

16 "If there are one hundred then, still, nae chance, ye will have to go across to the Town of the Bridge which is Bridgeton, and thou shalt be grateful even for that"

17 And the People of God shook their heads and went home to their Parishes where there were still the Eagles' Wings and the prayers of bidding that cried to the Lord for vengeance.


Blogger Ttony said...

Very good again! But is it satire if it lacerates the satirist more than the target?

8:40 PM  
Blogger Paulinus said...

Probably not

12:35 AM  

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