Monday, February 22, 2010

What should I do?

It is Uncle Bill's Requiem tomorrow. When he was ordained in 1956 my mother had her wedding dress (white, watered silk) made into a set of Roman Low Mass vestments. I've never seen them but I am told they are beautiful. Gold lined and edged, chalice and host ophrey.

They languish in a cupboard at the Order's mother house, I understand. I suspect they might never be used by another member of his order. Now, clearly they belong to the Order (he took a vow of poverty and all that he had is theirs). But it seems to make no sense for the vestments to moulder.

Should I ask his Superior for the set so that they might be used by a traditionally-minded priest and thus my mother and father might be remembered at the altar. Or should they be sold and the money given to the poor (where have I heard that before?)

It would be a sin to let them rot.

Answers in the box, please.

No spam.

12 Comments:

Blogger Mark M said...

Ask if you can have them. Note: don't ask for them, but if you can have them...

The worst is that they can say no...

7:36 PM  
Blogger Kindred Spirit said...

"Ask and you shall receive", God willing.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Simon Platt said...

Use 'em.

(Not personally, obviously.)

7:42 PM  
Blogger Ttony said...

Ask if, in the circumstances, he can be buried in them.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Simon Platt said...

White vestments, Ttony?

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2008/10/quaeritur-in-what-color-are-priests-to-be-buried/

(Besides, it might be a bit late as the funeral's tomorrow.)

8:49 PM  
Blogger The Cellarer said...

I'm with Mark, ask if you can have them so they can be passed onto another priest.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Mac McLernon said...

Presumably there are your uncle's wishes to consider... as well as your parents' wishes.

Your parents gave the vestments presumably knowing that they would go to the order, and given the number of vestments the Order had already, they might never be used again, yes?

If that is so, you might ask the Superior if he can let you know when the vestments are next going to be used, in case you are able to come to the Mass...

He might then ask if you want them back, or it might make him consider putting them to good use.

It would be churlish to ask for a gift back, even if it's not being used...

9:29 PM  
Blogger Paulinus said...

Mac do you write the Dear Mary column in The Spectator?

9:43 PM  
Blogger margaret said...

What a beautiful, beautiful idea to make a wedding gown into vestments. I would find a tactful way of asking, after all, they were your mother's wedding dress and I'm sure they will understand that they are dear to you.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Mac McLernon said...

Oh heavens, did I come across as all preachy and self-righteous, then? Sorry, I didn't mean to... I was just reflecting on how I'd want any present of mine to be treated after death...

:-)

9:47 PM  
Blogger Simon Platt said...

Dear Mac,

I think Paulinus' "Dear Mary" comment was an unalloyed compliment!

I, too, was impressed by your subtlety and tact.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Paulinus said...

Spot on Simon - it was a compliment!

10:24 PM  

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