Monday, April 06, 2009

Pope in new row

Pope Benedict is again embroiled in a new row concerning Catholic teaching. Vatican insiders are increasingly worried about the ‘gaffe-prone’ Pontiff. Asked by journalists about the Church’s position on driving the Pope declared that “people should drive if they have a licence, following the Highway Code and the laws of the land and keeping within the speed limits” adding that “bigger bumpers, louder horns, bigger headlights and drivers in crash helmets isn’t the answer to making the roads safe."

The Pope’s comments drew a swift response from critics. “Typical, really” said one commenter. “When is the Catholic Church going to move with the times? We all love a drive, don’t we? It’s fun going fast and cars can now travel faster than ever before. Anti-lock brakes are so much better than they were years ago”. Campaigners for ‘free-driving’ maintained that if driver wanted to drive on the pavements, at whatever speed they wanted to they should be free to do so and if pedestrians got in the way, too bad. “Why should we listen to the comments of an octogenarian who doesn’t drive but gets ferried around in a Popemobile at 10mph?” said one commenter. “With louder horns, brighter headlights, bigger bumpers and better seatbelts, you retain the fun of extreme driving and cut down on accidents. I tell you, this emphasis on driving licences and insurance, just encourages those without a licence to drive more recklessly. If they had better horns and bigger lights so pedestrians could get out of the way, we’d all be safer. The Pope has blood on his hands.”

Peter Tatchell who campaigns for a reduction in the driving age to 14 lashed out at the Pope. “Kids love driving! Look at them down at the local carting track or on the dodgems. If they can drive there, why not out on the road? They don’t need licences, they need a good crash helmet and a big foam bumper. ”

Ed Balls, Minister for Children and Schools said the Government intended to carry on with its programme of showing episodes of Top Gear to 5-year-olds and live screenings of Formula One races in schools.

3 Comments:

Blogger Griff said...

Excellent lampoonery, but sadly so very accurate.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Ben Trovato said...

Good stuff!

Coincidentally (honestly!), I've just used this same analogy in a post about condoms...

8:19 AM  
OpenID pontesisto said...

EXCELLENT!

11:44 AM  

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