Thursday, December 20, 2007

Scotland - sink of bohemian depravity

Objects of affection. Apparently.

What on earth is the matter with this country? First, as Fr Justin pointed out a chap was prosecuted for having, ahem, intimate relations with his bicycle. Now there's a young man on probation in The Borders for doing something similar with the pavement. What on earth happened to that Calvinist moral rectitude? John Knox must be turning in his grave.

Are there no bonnie lassies to shower affection on?

In the light of this we'll have to think about updating some of the songs that will have their outing at Hogmanay and Burns Night.

Scotland’s Depraved
To the tune Scotland The Brave

Hark, when the night is falling
Hear, hear the bikesheds calling
Behaviour's become appalling
Down through the Glen.
There with the bikes we're keeping
Now see the perverts creeping
Low as the urges
Of the dirty old men.

Once you were rightly famed
Now you should be ashamed
How have your proud standards
Gone to the grave!
Land of the low endeavor
What next? Molest the hoover?
Hardly a mood-improver
Scotland’s depraved!

I Love a Kerbstone
To the tune I Love A Lassie

I love a kerbstone, a bonnie bonnie kerbstone,
It’s as cold as the Kelvin in the dell,
She's hard as the granite,
The flinty flinty granite,
Kerbstone, as hard as hell.

Bike lovers of Scotland
To the tune Flower of Scotland

Bike lovers of Scotland,
When will we see,
Yer like again?
Molesting the pavement ?!!!!!
What is it with Scottish men?
They get arrested, (who by?)
By Lothian & Borders,
And put on probation,
Tae think again.

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Blogger tradgardmastare said...

Discovered your Blog through link from St Gregory and St Augustine. I really enjoyed your liturgies and felt they said so much about those holding the Liturgical reins.
I live in Scotland and have (thankfully ) not seen such activites around me!
Keep up the good work!
p.s I loved the super mario photo!

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Mark said...

I though you go for 'Donald where's your troosers' Oh well

12:29 PM  
Blogger Paulinus said...

I'll link to you ASAP tradgardmastare

1:19 AM  

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