Monday, September 04, 2006

Scots Inculturation of Holy Writ - The Pitfalls

This is what happens when you allow free rein to translations of Scripture (or liturgical texts, for that matter)

Following a conversation with The Boy last night we thought it might be fun to rewrite some biblical passages for the yoof of today.

Here is the first attempt the Story of Jesus and Zaccheaus

Jesus and Zac


Jesus an the bhoys wur goin doon tae Jericho tae find some burds an drink their carry oot. In Jericho there wiz a wee fella called Zaccheaus who wurked fur the cooncil collecting the taxes, noo cos he wiz eh taxman he was right loaded but erywan thought he wiz a bit o a dobber and as a result he wiz a pure billy nae mates. He wiz also a bit of a shortarse and couldnae see very well when Jesus an the young team stoated intae toon. Cos the hale place wis stowed out.

Tae get oer this he ran up ahead and shimmied up a tree. When Jesus stoated by he saw the wee man up and tree and shouted Aw Zac, get yer bahookie doon here ya wee naf, wur tae your hoose fur wur fish suppers,.

On hearing this Zac thought ya dancer and git doon quick smart. However ithers wur a wee bit scunnered aboot this in said whits the score here? How comes yer going tae that wee shites hoose?

On hearing this Zac said tae the Big Man Look Jesus, heres the score. Ahll gie hauwf of whit ah hiv tae aw them dole scum and single mammies an if ah;ve screwed anywan over ahll sort it oot, right? An ah might en sort em oot wi a wee bit extra. Whit dae ye say?

Jesus said "well ats jist pure dead brilliant by the way, ye see folks he used tae be a wee basturt but now weve sorted him oot, ma da ill be dead chuffed in aw"

3 Comments:

Blogger Angela Messenger said...

LMAO!!!!

5:23 PM  
Blogger PatterNoster said...

Note to self, don't read things like this in uni computer labs as others stare at you whilst you laugh at a computer screen.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Seraphic Single said...

Fantastic!

12:44 AM  

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